A translation of Digimon Adventure 02‘s first drama CD, “Armor Evolution to the Unknown” (未知へのアーマー進化).
1. Daisuke’s Great Valentine’s Day Strategy
V-mon: Hey, Daisuke, what’s this “secret plan” of yours? You can tell me! Whisper it to me!
Daisuke: Haha, well, I guess I gotta. But you can’t tell anyone, okay? It’s my special plan for Valentine’s Day, next week, February 14!
V-mon: Valentine’s Day?
Daisuke: Valentine’s Day is a day that comes only once a year! It’s the day where girls give chocolate to the boys they like!
V-mon: Chocolate! I want some, too!
Daisuke: So do I! So that’s where my plan comes in. But it’s not gonna involve just standing around and waiting!
V-mon: Got it! (adopts silly voice) Hello, hello everyone! On this fine day of Valentine’s, please be obliged towards myself, V-mon! (normal voice)…Like that?
Daisuke: No, no, not like that! It’s gotta be…manlier! It’s gotta be the sort of thing that makes the girls go, “ohhhh, Daisuke, you’re so cool!“
Narrator: And thus, Daisuke desperately began to subject himself to training for his secret Valentine’s Day plan…
The story that began to spin at full speed
finishes dyeing the earth in red
Let’s save it with our own hands,
this globe that’s become a mere empty paradise
The eternally progressing road on the hill
Let’s chase it, with all of our heart, far away
Stand up! The hero is within me
The target towering over all else, there’s no way we can lose
Burn up! My heartbeat is burning within my chest
We’re going to take back our forgotten future
Let the battle of passion arise!
Daisuke: Armor Evolution to the Unknown!
Yamato: So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?
Daisuke: Well, I was thinking, I wanted to try being in a band…
V-mon: Isn’t that great, Gabumon?
Gabumon: What about instruments? Have you picked one?
Daisuke: Not an instrument as much as…guitar and vocals.
Yamato: …Can you play?
(very terrible guitar playing)
Yamato: Come on, play it right! What are you doing, you’re just flinging your hand up and down the strings!
Daisuke: Well, I just thought it looked cool…
(more terrible guitar stringing)
Yamato: You’re ten years too early to attempt tapping, just play it normally!
Daisuke: But playing normally wouldn’t make me stand out…tch.
(some mediocre guitar playing)
Yamato: Mmm…not terrible. Okay, try singing along.
(off-tune, accompanied by extremely off-tune guitar strumming)
Daisuke (singing): You are very pretty ~ Really pretty ~ So please ~ (strumming even more furiously and badly) ~ give me chocolate ~
(strums a few more times, still very badly)
Yamato: I’m sorry, but…I think you might be better off giving up now.
Daisuke: What? Aw man…
Narrator: While Daisuke was showing off his incompetence in instruments, at the same time, Hikari, Sora, Mimi, Tailmon, Piyomon, and Palmon were shopping at a department store in Ginza.
Hikari: Wait, Mimi-san, you’re going to buy all of that?
Mimi: Yeah! Not just for Taichi and all, but I have to get some for Michael and the others back in America!
Palmon: We have to keep up with the obligation chocolate1, right?
Tailmon: We’re done with the shopping, so let’s go home.
Sora: Ah! I forgot to go pick up something — you guys can go ahead without me!
Piyomon: Oh, right! The serious chocolate2, right?
Everyone else: …Ohoho!
Sora: Hey! Piyomon!!
Tailmon: (whispering) But it is true, Yamato and Sora are dating.
Palmon: (whispering) I’m amazed it actually happened…
Sora: …Right, right! Did I ever tell you guys, I found a really nice cake shop in Odaiba…!
Mimi: (whispering) Really? I didn’t think it was all that surprising, personally. Actually, I think they’re pretty perfect for each other! But the two of them are both the type to jump to conclusions way too quickly, so I’m kind of worried…
Sora: …the Mont Blanc is really delicious! And the milk crêpe is to die for! And…
Tailmon: (whispering) Ah, I see. Among all of the Chosen Children, they’re probably the most likely to get very stubborn about their own wrong ideas…
Hikari: (whispering) Hopefully they never get in a fight, because getting them out will be impossible…
Sora: …hey, hey, why don’t we all go check it out?
Mimi: (whispering)…But if that happens, Yamato-san will probably be the one to back down, right?
Palmon: (whispering) Yeah, yeah! Sora’s definitely the more stubborn one by far.
Sora: Aaaaargh! You guys aren’t listening to me!
Hikari: Ah! What are you doing, Sora-san?! If you just keep swinging your tennis racket around like that, you’re gonna hit someone!
Sora: FINE THEN! COME AT ME!! I’LL TAKE YOU ON!!
Piyomon: Sora!! Calm down!
???: Urk! That hurts…
Sora: Ah! I’m so sorry, I accidentally hit you! Are you okay?
???: I’m all right. Incidentally…do you know where I could find some hearts?
Hikari: Well, if you go to the register, they’ll have some chocolate…
???: Is that so? Thank you very much.
Mimi: Is that guy…going to go buy chocolate? Well, I mean, at least in America, it’s pretty normal for boys to get chocolate for girls.
Hikari: Really? It’d be nice if we could do that in Japan, too.4
Narrator: But Hikari and the others had no idea…that the man was actually a Digimon.
Narrator: Meanwhile, Daisuke had showed up at the door of Koushirou’s house.
Koushirou: Yes? (opens door) Ah, it’s Daisuke-kun!
Daisuke: The truth is, I…would very much wish to ask a favor of you.
Tentomon: Somethin’ up with ya, Daisuke-han? Ya talkin’ kinda weird, compared to ya usual.
Daisuke: There is no problem at all with this. In actuality, I would like to learn how to operate a computer in the manner that Koushirou-san does. Would you be so kind as to grant me this favor?
Koushirou: I don’t mind teaching you about computers, but…could you please stop with the way you’re talking? Somehow I feel like you’re…making fun of me.
Daisuke: You are simply misunderstanding, Koushirou-san. I have no intention of making light of you.
Koushirou: Is that so! Well, it must be my imagination…
Tentomon: So, what’cha gonna teach him ’bout computers?
Daisuke: Well, if it is something of the sort that people could bear witness to and go…”Ohhh! He can use computers! Wow~!!“…it would be suitable.
Koushirou: How about graphic software, then? For instance, 3D and morphing.
V-mon: Morphing? What’s that?
Koushirou: This. (click) Please take a look.
V-mon: Whoaaaaaa! Daisuke’s face evolved into my face!
Koushirou: Like so. Daisuke-kun, please try it for yourself.
Daisuke: Much obliged. Uh…Like this?
(siren goes off)
Tentomon: Somethin’ happen?
Daisuke: I am unable to get the mouse to stop moving! Here! Please stop!
Koushirou: Ah! What are you doing?! Don’t…hit…my computer!!
Tentomon: Those who do not treat their computers with care…do not meet the qualifications to use one!
Koushirou: Get out!!
V-mon: I…have never seen Koushirou get so emotional before.
Daisuke: I would say the same.
Ken: Ah, Motomiya! What are you doing here?
Daisuke: Ah, it would be you, Ichijouji-san.
Takeru: …Why are you talking like that?
Daisuke: Ah, Takeru-san, you are accompanying him as well.
Patamon: Do you have a cold or something? Are you okay?
Daisuke: I thank you very warmly for your concern. However, I am well.
Wormmon: What on earth happened to you?
V-mon: Daisuke changed his image!
Ken: That doesn’t fit you at all! Come on, that doesn’t feel right at all for Motomiya. I’d prefer having the old one back.
Takeru: Yeah, yeah! Our good ol’ leader, charging into the crowd! The one who always gets going, without thinking! I like that Daisuke-kun better!
Daisuke: “Without thinking…”…gh! Don’t make fun of me! I’m thinking very hard!
V-mon: Yeah, yeah! Like, “what should I have with my dinner tonight…” or “what should I play next…”
Ken: So if you can keep thinking that much, it’s fine, so like…once you start thinking more than that, please, I’m begging you, stop.
Takeru: We like you as you normally are, Daisuke-kun!
Daisuke: …the heck? Why would you say something like…wait. (muttering) Aha. You guys just don’t want to see my new image getting me popular with all the girls, so…
Ken: Anyway, I’d rather see you go back to being more Motomiya-is…
(footsteps running away)
Ken: H-Hey! Where are you going?! Hey! Let me finish!
Daisuke: I can’t hear you~! See ya later!
V-mon: Wait! Daisukeeeeeee!
Takeru: …What happened to Daisuke-kun?
Ken: I’m worried…I really hope this doesn’t end in anything bad…
Palmon: Huh? Hey, Mimi! Isn’t that Daisuke and V-mon?
Mimi: Oh? Oh, you’re right — ah, it fell off! Oh no, it’s rolling — ah, help me! My hat blew away in the wind again!! (singing) Mama~ Do you remember~5
Clerk: Thank you very much! Next customer, please.
???: Give me hearts.
???: Hearts. I want hearts.
Clerk: If you want hearts, please pick any of our products that you like!
???: I want a real heart. One you can’t buy with money!
(glass breaking sound)
2. The Heart Thief
Narrator: The Kido family, from a line of doctors from every generation dating back to Rinkou Kido’s adoption of Western medical techniques in the Edo period6, is now having its midday meal with an extra-special sushi platter to congratulate their third child, Jou, for having finished his exams.
Jou’s mother: Here, Jou! Take anything you want! Even if it’s the tuna, or the sea urchin!7
Jou: Thanks, Mom.
Shin: You worked hard, you know.
Jou: Thanks, Shin-niisan. But the exams only just finished, so they haven’t announced the results yet…
Shuu: Doesn’t matter, we’re still celebrating! If you don’t take it, we’re going to. Take it. Take it!
Jou: O-Okay, okay, Shuu-niisan…
Gomamon: I’m taking some, too!…So, Jou, what are you gonna do now? If you’re gonna be a doctor, are you planning on taking over your dad’s hospital?
Jou: H-Hey, Gomamon! Why’d you have to say that?
Gomamon: S-Sorry. Was I not supposed to? Ahaha…
Jou’s father: Jou.
Jou: Y-Yes, Dad?
Jou’s father: You don’t have to push yourself so hard. I’m not going to force you.
Jou: Ah, no, it’s more like, it just feels too early to talk about this…
Jou’s father: Shin and Shuu have already decided to take their own paths, so you have the right to do the same. Don’t worry too much about it, and do what you want to do…hmph…
Gomamon: (aside) …Ah, he really does want you to take it over, huh.
Jou: (whispering) Well, yeah…
Jou’s mother: Oh! We’ve got visitors!
Jun: I’m Jun Motomiya!
Momoe: I’m Miyako’s older sister, Momoe!
Chizuru: I’m Chizuru, also Miyako’s older sister!
Miyako: And I’m…Saori Minami!!8…
(Japanese koto sound)
Miyako: Hey, wait for me, you guys!!
Jun: There he is! Shuu-san! Hey, hey, do you want chocolate with almonds or macadamia nuts? Which one would you like?
Shuu: (nervously) …Why do you want to know?
Jun: Well, you already know, don’t you~
Gomamon: Huh? I thought Daisuke’s sister had a thing for Yamato?
Jun: That all ended last year! Right now…Shuu-san is the only one for me!
Jou’s mother: You said your name is Jun-san? I’m Jou’s mother. Forgot to introduce myself. (giggles)
Jou’s father: I’m Jou’s father. (aside) Hey, Shuu, she seems like a nice girl.
Shuu: Gh…It’s not like that!
Gomamon: By the way…why are you and your sisters here, Miyako?
Hawkmon: Well, Jun-san and Miyako-san’s sister Momoe are in the same class in high school.
Momoe: We are! And Chizuru is in the same class as Yamato-kun, so…
Chizuru: …they put me through all kinds of stuff, making me spy on Ishida like that.
Jou’s mother: What kind of things are you interested in, Jun? Do you like Brahms?
Jun: …Brahms? What’s that?…Is that some new kind of snack?!
Shuu: H-Hey…Jou…Please do something about this…
Jou: L-Like what…? Oh! I’ll turn on the television, change the subject…
Jou: (stiffly) Look at the news! There are…very important things happening!
Jun: Oh? What’s up, what’s up?
Newscaster: We’re here on the scene, in front of the department store! It’s very cold out right now. One hour ago, the culprit locked down the store, keeping over a hundred people inside as hostages! Despite all of the police’s attempts, it seems like the culprit has no intention of backing down! Ah! The criminal is now sticking his head out of the window! Listen!
???: GIVE ME YOUR HEARTS!!
Newscaster: “Give me your hearts!” What on earth could he mean by “hearts”? The police will continue to negotiate with him and try to reach a conclusion! As a result, the currently scheduled program, Great Scoop of the Century! Did the American Box Bug9 Actually Exist? will be postponed until a later date!
Chioka: Ughhh! I made absolute sure I wasn’t going to miss that show!
Hiroaki: Stop fussing about it, Chioka! Doesn’t that play every day at 3 PM, anyway? That aside, it’s time for a special interview with the culprit!
Tailmon: Cat Punch!…Argh, it didn’t work! Why?!
???: Is that all you’ve got to offer? Then, here’s mine!
Palmon: Mimi! We’ve got to evolve, too!
Mimi: Oh no! Our Digivices aren’t doing anything!
???: Still wanna go?
Hikari: We surrender! We surrender!! (to Tailmon) Let’s stop, Tailmon…If we keep this up, all of the other hostages will be in danger…
Tailmon: All right…
Piyomon: If only we could evolve, too…
(cell phone ringing)
Sora: Hello? This is Sora Takenouchi.
Sakurada: Oh, good, we got through. Ishida-san!
Hiroaki: Ah, thanks, Sakurada. (clears throat) Hello…(sheepishly) You’re Sora Takenouchi-san, right?
Sora: Yes, I am…
Hiroaki: (sheepishly) I’m Yamato’s father. I got your phone number from my son.
Sora: Oh! Yamato-kun’s father?!
Hiroaki: Aha…thank you for everything you do for Yamato.
Sora: Oh, no, I’d say the same to you! (giggles)
Chioka: Ishida-san, focus on the job, please!
Hiroaki: I know, I know! U-Um. Well. We would like to interview the culprit. Can you help us?
Sora: All right! What do I need to do?
Hiroaki: Can you ask him what his name is?
Sora: …is what he said.
Chioka: A Digimon?!
Narrator: Boltmon! A Cyborg Ultimate Digimon! His ultimate attack, Tomahawk Steiner, throws his giant axe at his opponents!
Sakurada: Ishida-san, you sure know a lot.10
Hiroaki: That’s not me, you idiot, that was the narrator!…What a nice voice that guy has. Anyway, Sora-san, can you ask the culprit about his grounds for doing this?
Ishida: …I said the grounds, not the pounds11, please stop messing with me.
Sora: Ahaha. Sorry. (to Boltmon) Please tell us what your motive is!
Boltmon: I was born…in the Digital World. However…I was an existence that was not meant to be born…Because I have no heart…I was banished from the Digital World…Thus, I began my life as a wanderer…
Sora: Um, can you please summarize it for us?
Boltmon: And then this and that happened. The end.
Sora: Okay, that’s too much, a bit more detail, please!
Boltmon: This morning, I took my first step into this world, in Ueno Park…
???: Hey, you over there!
Boltmon: Who’s there?
???: I’m just a little ol’ punk fortuneteller. Hey, want me to tell ya fortune?
???: Ya got somethin’ ya looking for, right? I’ll tell ya where ya can find it.
Boltmon: (narrating) It was a fortuneteller with a spiky head.
???: OH YEAH. Ya find whatcha lookin’ for at the department store, in the sweets aisle!
Boltmon: I will?
???: But ya won’t get whatcha want that easily. Ya gonna have to go nuts. Blow stuff up. Destroy stuff. ANARCHY!! TOKYO IS BURNING!!12 If ya just go real hog wild, ya get whatcha want!
Sora: And that’s all from myself, Sora Takenouchi, reporting directly from the scene of the crime!
Hiroaki: And now we will return to the program, where we will await further information on this mysterious fortuneteller with a spiky head that Boltmon has just described!
3. What the Children Can Do
Police radio: Ah, there’s a strange mist gathering around the department store. We can’t get through it at all! Requesting backup!
Armadimon: What’s with all the fog?
Koushirou: Boltmon is an Ultimate-level Digimon, creating distortions in his surroundings.
Takeru: Looks like we’re the only ones who can get in there.
Daisuke: Heeeeeey! Guys!
Agumon: Sorry we’re late!
Gabumon: Hey, Taichi, what’s wrong with your hair?
Yamato: Your trademark spiky hair is gone and…you’ve styled it to look like something out of the Leningrad Cowboys!
Taichi: I kept getting mistaken for the “spiky-head” fortuneteller Boltmon mentioned, so I needed some kind of disguise…
Daisuke: My sis also has spiky hair, so the same thing happened with her…
Koushirou: In any case, we’ll split up into two groups.
Tentomon: Why two groups?
Koushirou: One will go and retrieve Sora-san and the others, and the other will search for the spiky-haired fortuneteller Boltmon mentioned.
Taichi: Right. So, Yamato, Miyako-chan, and I will be the rescue party, and the rest of you guys will go look for look for him!
Jou: Got it! Let’s go, guys!
(footsteps as the party leaves)
Miyako: …So, Taichi-san, what are we supposed to do?
Agumon: Heh heh. Well, it’s not all that special, but we’re gonna disguise ourselves and sneak in!
Taichi: Yeah! And that’s where we come in, this is our specialty!
Agumon: Right, so! Taichi will be Ikkyu-san13, and I’ll be PunkAgumon, and we’ll sneak in!
Hawkmon: Um, I am not sure whether we should be reusing a joke14 like that…
Agumon: …We can’t?
Yamato: I’ll go.
Gabumon: No! Yamato, give it up!
Gabumon: The ramen looks terrible!
Yamato: Oh…does it?
Miyako: Then I’ll go!
Hawkmon: Tailmon is in there, so we’ll be able to Jogress.
Taichi: All right, we’re counting on you, Miyako.
Miyako: Got it! Chosen Children…well, it’s just me, but anyway…let’s roll!
Narrator: Meanwhile, someone was watching over the department store that Boltmon had held down. It was the mysterious spiky-haired fortuneteller that he had spoken with before.
Pukumon: Heh heh heh heh heh! Blow it all up, Boltmon! Make all of Tokyo go BURNING!
Narrator: Pukumon! A spiky-headed Ultimate-level Digimon! He has a savage and punkish personality! His special attack is Needle Squall, which shoots out all of the spikes from his head at once!
Pukumon: YES!! ANARCHY AND TOKYO!!
Jou: Where’s that guy with the spiky head?
Everyone else: (in chaos) Where is he, where is he?
Jou: H-H-H-HOLD IT!
Jou: …How many of us are here? One!
Jou: …Mm, that’s too many of us. Let’s split up into two.
Jou: Well, if twelve of us stick together as a group like this, nobody’s gonna get that many lines…
Iori: Ah, that’s right! As you’d expect from our honest Jou-senpai, thinking of all of us!
Jou: Right, so! Daisuke and Ken will go along with me, and Koushirou will take Takeru and Iori!
Koushirou: Understood. Then, let’s split.
Everyone else: Got it!
Narrator: And so, Koushirou, Takeru, and Iori headed to Yaesu.
Armadimon: There sure a lotta interesting stops here in Yaesu.15
Tentomon: (in Nagoya dialect) Right straight you are, there be stuff from all ’round Japan brought into Yaesu.
Armadimon: Yeah, yeah, the flat noodles’ the stuff!
Tentomon: (still in Nagoya dialect) Also the rice jelly, real good n’ true.
Takeru: T-Tentomon, you can speak in Nagoya dialect too?16
Tentomon: (in Nagoya dialect) ‘Course yeah. Ain’t Nagoya in the middle o’ Japan? Was the city built right up by Tokugawa Ieyasu, when ya think ’bout it. If a bird don’t sing, let it sing for ya.17 Eel on rice.
Iori: Haha! I can do it too! (in Nagoya dialect) Miso cutlet with tempura rice balls! Ain’t forgettin’ stuff down from Chiba!
Koushirou: Ah, the brilliance of Iori, inheritor of the Crest of Knowledge! You must have committed yourself to learning from Armadimon. I’ll try it out myself. (in Nagoya dialect) The fried shrimp’s a real charm too.
Patamon: You’re all so good at it! Hey, Takeru, go for it!
Takeru: N-No, I can’t…
Patamon: All right, then, I’ll do it instead! (in Chikuho dialect) Nagoya dialect ain’t a thing I can do but I can try a real mean Chikuho18.
Koushirou: Patamon can speak Chikuho dialect…Ah! Now I understand!
Tentomon: (still in Nagoya dialect) What’s up, Koushirou-han?
Koushirou: Listen carefully. Patamon always says Takeru’s name like (Patamon imitation voice) “Take-ryu!” (back to normal), right? So why does he say it like “ryu”? Please recall that people in Kyushu say the word “teacher” like “teasher”.19
Iori: “Teasher”…ah, so that’s Chikuho dialect!
Patamon: (in Chikuho dialect) Big ‘n’ real proud! From a bit south o’ Hakata.
Takeru: Wow, you’re all so good at this! I’m jealous.
Patamon: (in Chikuho dialect) Takeru, ya grannie’s a Shimane fella, say somethin’ in Shimane talk.
Takeru: A-Ah? No, I can’t…
Armadimon: Your grampa’s from France, maybe say somethin’ in French dialect?
Takeru: The heck is French dialect? Look, if we’re gonna do this, just…(in dialect) it ain’t somethin’ I can just spit it out like!
Tentomon (in Nagoya dialect): …Ya performance on point, but…why Hiroshima20 dialect?
Narrator: Meanwhile, Daisuke, Jou, and Ken were continuing their search in Roppongi.
Crowd of screaming fangirls: Aaaaaah! It’s Ken Ichijouji!
Daisuke: Man, Ichijouji’s popularity is real something…
Wormmon: (through megaphone) Ah. Ah. Please form an orderly area around Ken! Please do not push and be courteous to those around you!
Ken: Thank you all for everything. Please continue to support me from now on.
V-mon: Whoa, they’ve even started an autograph signing.
Daisuke: Why…why is he so much more popular than I am?!
Gomamon: Well, you know, he’s got that whole “dark hero” appeal to him. Plus, he had that whole aesthetic going with that whole costume back when he was the Kaiser.
Daisuke: Ugh, really?…I should have brought some sort of cool costume, too!
Ken: Sorry to keep you guys waiting. Let’s go.
Jou: But, really, where is that spiky-headed guy?
Narrator: Meanwhile, disguised as ramen delivery staff, Miyako and Hawkmon were in the midst of infiltrating the department store.
Hawkmon: This fog…it’s kind of like that, isn’t it?
Miyako: Huh? What do you mean by “that”?
Hawkmon: It’s like that feeling you get when you go through a Digital Gate.
Miyako: That doesn’t matter! Look, we’ve gotta do something! We’ve gotta save all of the hostages!!
(cyber electronica sounds and music)
Hawkmon: M-Miyako-san! What happened?…What are you wearing?
Miyako: Huh?…Ah! I’m wearing some kind of battle suit21!
Hawkmon: What are you doing?! Now nobody will believe we’re ramen delivery staff!
Miyako: I didn’t do this, it just…happened!
Hawkmon: …so what do we do?
Miyako: …Eh, it’ll be fine. (suddenly adopts deeper voice) We’re fighting a Digimon, right? So it doesn’t matter if we’re wearing ramen outfits or normal outfits or whatever, so we’ll just…(back to normal voice) keep going!!
Hawkmon: That’s crazy, Miyako-san!
Miyako: Hey, sorry to keep you waiting! Ramen delivery!
Boltmon: Did you say…ramen?
Miyako: Our super-special soy sauce ramen!
Boltmon: Ah…The truth is, I’ve always wanted to try ramen at least once in my life…I’ll have some.
Miyako: Heh! (to Hawkmon) We got him good.
Hawkmon: Indeed. Now, let’s attend to the hostages.
Miyako: Of course! (whispering to Hikari) Hikari-chaaaaan~ We came to save you!
Hikari: (whispering) Thank you, Miyako-san!
Boltmon: (slurping) Hey, you! What the hell’s with this ramen? The noodles are getting all thick!…Hey, what are you doing over there?
Miyako: Ah…ahahahaha. Well, we got caught. We’ll just have to…
Hikari: Stop, Miyako-san!
Miyako: Hyah! Hyaah!!
Boltmon: Are you going to try me? Avalanche Tomahawk Steiner!
Miyako: Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow…
Hawkmon: Please, please tread with a little more caution.
Miyako: Sorry~ (giggle)
4. Daisuke, Dark Evolution!
Reporter: It has now been three hours since this incident began, but it does not seem like a resolution can be reached anytime soon! All we can do is hope for the safety of the hostages!
Yuuko: Hikari!….Ah! Taichi!
Taichi: Oh! Mom!
Yuuko: Is Hikari all right? I’m so, so worried…
Agumon: Please don’t worry, mom! We’ll do something about it!
Yuuko: Will you?…Ah, but please don’t do what you did last time…
Taichi/Agumon: Last time?
Yuuko: You trashed the entirety of Odaiba last time, remember? It was awful, the gas and the electricity and the water all got shut down…Right, Sora-chan’s mom?
Yoshiko: It was awful! We could deal with the gas and the water, but losing the electricity was the worst…Was it hard for you, too, Tachikawa-san?
Satoe: It was! We had to go the entire summer without an air conditioner…
Yoshiko: Summer without an air conditioner was torture…
Yoshiko: Yagami-san, did your family also have problems with the bath, too?
Yuuko: Ah, it’s too embarrassing, but yes…how about you, Mimi-chan’s mom?
Satoe: Yeah, it was the same for us!
All three ladies: Right, right? (laughs)
Yoshiko: It just completely broke down, you know?
All three ladies: (continue laughing)
Agumon: Taichi…Those moms all just got into another one of those conversations…
Taichi: Man, they’ve just totally missed the point…
Yamato: Taichi! Everyone’s back.
Taichi: Hey! How’d it go? Did you find the guy with the spiky head?
Daisuke: We got nothing!
Koushirou: That aside, where is Miyako-kun?
Yamato: Miyako-chan went in disguised as ramen delivery staff and tried to sneak in, but the mission was a failure and she got captured…
Taichi: We wanted to go in and help her, but for some reason, our Digimon can’t evolve…so we decided to wait for Daisuke and the others, since they can use Armor Evolution.
Yamato: Are you guys listening? Here’s our plan. We are going to distract Boltmon…with tap dancing.
Iori: Excuse me…why tap dancing of all things?
Taichi: What, do you have a better plan?
Iori: Ah! N-No, I was just very surprised because…tap dancing…
Yamato: While we’ve gotten him distracted…Daisuke, you’ll go in and rescue the hostages.
Ken: I’ll go with him!
Takeru: But that won’t help anything, you can’t use Armor Evolution!
Iori: Your motives are quite transparent. You simply don’t want to tap dance, do you?
Ken: A…hahaha…you got me.
Agumon: Plus, we’ve got a very good reason for picking Daisuke for this.
Gabumon: Yeah! We listened to Daisuke’s singing and guitar and figured he has absolutely no sense of rhythm at all.
Taichi: If you can’t keep up the rhythm for tap dancing, the plan goes through the drain. All right, Daisuke, get going!
Daisuke: Got it, Taichi-senpai! Let’s go, V-mon!
Narrator: And so, Daisuke and V-mon went into the lumbering fog. Soon, it became apparent that the fog had the same abilities as those of the Digital World to change what someone was wearing, like how Miyako had ended up in her battle suit. And during that moment, a certain kind of thought was swirling in Daisuke’s head…
Daisuke: I want to be popular…I want to be popular…I want to be popular…
Narrator: And, in order to do that…
Daisuke: A dark hero…a dark hero…a dark hero…
Narrator: …for example?
Daisuke: The Digimon Kaiser…The Digimon Kaiser…The Digimon Kaiser…
Narrator: And thus, Daisuke underwent a dark evolution.
Daisuke: Daisuke, evolve…!…Digimon Kaiser.
Mimi: Hey, please~ We’ll give you aaaaaaall of our chocolate, so…let us go…!
Boltmon: All of that is just obligation chocolate. I don’t want it.
Sora: So then…you’ll let us go if I gave you serious chocolate?
Piyomon: Noooooo! Sora, that’s for Yamato!
Sora: It’s fine! Everyone’s lives are on the line here!…Yamato-kun…will understand…
Piyomon: (gasp) Sora…
(tap dancing noises)
Palmon: What’s that noise?
Hikari: My brother and the others are…tap dancing.
Taichi: Hey, Hikari! Are you okay?
Piyomon: Ah! Yamato’s dancing, too!
Yamato: Sora! Love you!
Sora: Ah — ah — (chokes back a tear) Now I don’t know what to think! At a time like this, when we’re all in danger, why is Yamato-kun tap dancing?!
Piyomon: Sora, no! There’s probably some reeeeeeeeally deep reason for this!
Sora: As if! It’s TAP DANCING!!!
Daisuke: (evil laughter)
Miyako: Who’s that?!…Aaaaaaagh! It’s the Digimon Kaiser!
Boltmon: What?! Are you the Digimon Kaiser? The one from all of the rumors?
Daisuke: Now, everyone. Bow down before me. I am the one who can control even the power of darkness…the Daisuke Kaiser.
Daisuke: I have been reborn. I shall live on as a hero of evil. Understand, you insects?
Tailmon: Hmm…it’s lacking in a bit of punch.
Palmon: He’s saying the right words, but that’s not gonna work by itself…
Daisuke: Gh — ah — grrk —
Mimi: Yeah, I think we all agree.
Crowd of girls: Yeah, Ken-chan is cooler.
V-mon: Daisuke! Try kicking me! Like how the Kaiser was always kicking Wormmon around!
Daisuke: A-Are you sure?! Okay…
Daisuke: Aaaaaaaaah! V-mon, are you okay? I was trying to hold back, too, I was hoping it wouldn’t actually hurt…
Crowd of girls: Boo! Boo!
Boltmon: Boo. Boo.
V-mon: No, that’s not gonna work, Daisuke! Even Boltmon’s booing us! You gotta get into the whole “evil” thing!
Daisuke: But…I…can’t do that to you…
Daisuke: (attempting Kaiser persona again) Ah. Ichijouji.
Ken: I saw you turning into the Kaiser and came running!…(Kaiser voice) Motomiya-kun. You don’t have what it takes to channel the powers of evil.
Daisuke: Hey, you don’t know that for sure! I…have decided to live in the grasp of evil! How dare you imply I don’t have enough willpower.
Ken: (evil Kaiser laugh) “Not enough willpower,” you say? Hah. Motomiya-kun. You know nothing of the words you speak. It would be more accurate to say…you don’t have enough power to begin with.
Crowd of girls: Kyaaaaaah! So cool~
Mimi: Aha, that’s Ichijouji-kun for you! The right mix of condescension and style. Just like old times!
Wormmon: Well, Ken-chan’s like a walking encyclopedia!
Crowd of girls: Kyaaaaaah! So amazing~
Palmon: And we shouldn’t leave out Wormmon, his dutiful, loyal follower even to the very end!
Daisuke: Nggghghhhgnnnn…V-mon, is it okay if I go all out…?
V-mon: (vaguely Wormmon-ish voice): Dai-chan! It’s okay! I don’t care what happens to me…!
Wormmon: …Ken-chan, we need to stop them.
Ken: But that’s easier said than done, you can’t evolve right now! I have a Crest of Kindness, but I don’t have a Digimental!
Hikari: Let your feelings reach him!
Mimi: We believe in you!
Palmon: So believe in yourself!
Tailmon: And your feelings for your friends!
Piyomon: If you do, then…
Sora: …your Crest will…
Hikari: …become a Digimental!
Crowd of girls: And we’ll support you!
Narrator: And thus, a miracle happened. Ken’s Crest of Kindness was drenched in a golden light, and was transformed into a Digimental of Kindness. And so…
(“Break up!” starts playing)
Ken: Let’s go, Wormmon!
Ken: Digimental up!
Wormmon: Wormmon, Armor Evolve…!
Pucchiemon: The Midsummer Night’s Kindness, Pucchiemon!
Narrator: Pucchiemon! The Armor Evolved form of Wormmon, and a Fairy Digimon! His special attack is an attack that calms the heart, Heartner Beam!
Crowd of girls: Kyaaaaaah! How cute~
Pucchiemon: Thank you! (sparkle) Here I go! Heaaaaaaaaaartner Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeam!
Daisuke: Ah…My heart feels so…refreshed…Ah…What was I doing?
Ken: Ah, you’re finally back to normal, Motomiya-kun!
Daisuke: Thanks, Ichijouji. Thanks, Pucchiemon. I…should just be true to myself after all. What do you think, guys?
Crowd of girls: (applauding loudly)
???: Hah. Boring.
V-mon: Who are you?…Aaaah! He’s got a spiky head!
Pukumon: NO! I answer only to “Pukumon-sama”! Hmph. You’re an Ultimate level Digimon so I figured you’d have no problem, but you really are some weak scrap, Boltmon-chan!
Boltmon: What?! So…what you said to me was…
Pukumon: A lie, of coooooourse! I just wanted to blow this place up real hard! I even had a Dark Tower set up here so that these kids couldn’t use normal evolution, YEAH!
Daisuke: Why, you…you’re not getting away with this!
Hikari: We’ve got to Armor Evolve!
Taichi: Hey! We’re here to help!
Jou: Let’s all bring Pukumon down…!
Takeru: The D-Terminals…!
Iori: I can’t tell which is which!
Jou: Aaaaaah! I messed up! I’m so sorry!
Pukumon: We’ll start with YOU!
Jou: Huuuuh? Someone, heeeeeeelp!
5. Armor Evolving in Chaos
Miyako: Jou-senpai’s in danger! Ah, I don’t know which one is which, but…! Digimental up!
Narrator: Miyako had, in fact, picked up Daisuke’s Digimental of Friendship.
Hawkmon: Hawkmon, Armor Evolve…! The Jet of Friendship, Linkmon!
Narrator: Linkmon! A Cyborg Digimon that can match the speed of light! His special attack uses the cutters on his arm to perform a Spinning Cutter!
Pukumon: I’m gonna punch ya out!
(sound of Linkmon pulling Jou away)
Linkmon: Jou…would you like to go someplace nice?22
Jou: Uh, well…anywhere is fine?
Hikari: Ah, a shooting star! Well, it felt like one, but it was more like an embroidery star…
Takeru: Patamon, we’re going in too! Digimental up!
Narrator: …But he was using the Digimental of Light.
Patamon: Patamon, Armor Evolve…! The Light of Unease, Manboumon!
Narrator: Manboumon! A Mutant Digimon shaped like a fish! His special attack is Balloon Mine!
Manboumon: Mmm! Mambo! Mmm! Mambo!
Pukumon: …I’m not gettin’ taken down by some stupid mambo23! SID VICIOUS!
Manboumon: Not a scratch.
Pukumon: How did my punch not do anything?! JOHN LYDON! JOE STRUMMER!!
Manboumon: Still nothing. But now I’m sleepy. Good night mambo.
Takeru: Hey! Don’t fall asleep!
Armadimon: Our turn, Iori!
Iori: …I don’t want you to turn into something really weird-looking, though.
Armadimon: Well, we gotta try it first at least!
Iori: …Okay! We’ll just see what happens! Digimental up!
Narrator: Iori was using Miyako’s Digimental of Love.
(“Break up!” plays)
Armadimon: Armadimon, Armor Evolve…!
Pteranomon: The Storm that Calls Upon Love, Pteranomon!
Narrator: Pteranomon! A Pterosaur Digimon with the power of a jet bomber! His special attack is Beak Pierce!
Iori: (shedding tears) Finally! Finally…a normal Digimon!
Pteranomon: (audio receiver voice) Pteranomon will now be doing a 180-degree turn. Dagya.
Pteramon: Enemy detected to the right. Target lock-on. Commencing attack. Dagya.
Hikari: Okay, our turn! Digimental up!
Narrator: Hikari was using Iori’s Digimental of Knowledge.
Tailmon: Tailmon! Armor Evolve…!
Butterflymon: The Knowledge of Attraction, Butterflymon!
Narrator: Butterflymon! An Insect Digimon that looks like a butterfly! Her special attack, Sweet Pheromone, traps the enemy in hallucinations with a powder in her wings!
Butterflymon: Sweet Pheromone~
(music suddenly gets skeevy)
Pukumon: Oh…Ohhhhhh…Where are we again?
Butterflymon: Welcome to my charming butterfly mansion~ My name is…Madam Butterflymon~ Here, take a warm towel for your hands~
Pukumon: Ah, thank you. Ah. Ah-ah-ah-ah! Ah, the perfume…I’m choking…B-ghhhh…
Butterflymon: Oh, my, I’m so sorry. Ohohoho.
Taichi: Now, Daisuke!
Yamato: Let’s take him down!
Daisuke: All right! Let’s go, V-mon! Digimental up!
(“Break up!” plays)
Narrator: Daisuke was using Takeru’s Digimental of Hope.
V-mon: V-mon, Armor Evolve…!
Sagittarimon: The Great Hope of the Land, Sagittarimon!
Narrator: Sagittarimon! A Mythical Animal Digimon that seems like a human on its top half and a horse on its bottom half! His special attack shoots an arrow made of Chrome Digizoid, Judgment Arrow!
Sagittarimon: First, I shall warm up, Japanese-style24. Hah! Hah! Hah!
(sound of three arrows hitting)
Hikari: Wow! He hit all three targets while running!
Sagittarimon: You can’t hide from me. Hah! Hah! Hah!
Takeru: Amazing! He’s like an acrobat!
Sagittarimon: Finished warming up. Now, let’s go, Pukumon!
Pukumon: Don’t underestimate me! Needle Squall!
Butterflymon: Ah~ Sagittarimon is in danger~ Let us help him~ Sweet Pheromone!
Pteranomon: Beak Pierce!…dagya.
Linkmon: Spinning Cutter!
Pucchiemon: Heartner Beam!
Manboumon: Oh. Mambo.
Boltmon: Let’s do this, Sagittarimon.
Sagittarimon: Let’s go. Take this! Judgment Arrow!
Pukumon: Oohoohoohoo! I give up! I give up! I give up! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry!
Daisuke: Haha! We did it!
Sagittarimon: Boltmon! Release the hostages! Otherwise, you, too, will…!
Boltmon: W-Wait! I will release them. But I will say…as I watched you, I realized. A heart is not something that can be given, but something that comes from yourself. So, farewell. I shall return to the Digital World, and start over.
(noise as Boltmon disappears)
Daisuke: Something you aren’t given, but must come from yourself…
Ken: It’s a good way to put it. But I’m still a bit confused…what exactly about our fight taught him that?
Sora: He must have learned it from me!
Piyomon: I think so too, Sora!
Tailmon: I don’t think so…
Mimi: No, no, don’t press the issue! There’s absolutely nothing you can say that’ll convince someone as stubborn as that.
Hikari: Yeah, you’re right!
Crowd of girls: Thank you, Daisuke-kun!
Daisuke: Ah, well, no problem…!
Crowd of girls: Ahhhh! And Ken-kun! And Takeru!
Daisuke: (about to cry) So in the end it’ll always be them instead…
V-mon: Hey, don’t be so down, Daisuke! Someday you’ll meet a real nice girl…Probably…Maybe…If you’re lucky…
Agumon: Hey, why don’t we try Armor Evolving?
Gomamon: Well, we technically can’t, but right now absolutely nothing is making sense anyway, so maybe something’ll happen in all the chaos?
Koushirou: You’re right. Let’s try it out. Digimental up!
(“Break up!” plays)
Tentomon: Tentomon, Armor Evolve!…”The Blubbering Knowledge, Selfishmon!”
(music fades into traffic honks)
“Selfishmon”: Hey, look, go easy on me! Look, why are you all honking at me? What did I do to deserve this? You’re all messed up folks, y’all, all of you…The heck’s wrong with y’all…
Koushirou: He…really is selfish.
Mimi: Let me try! Digimental up!
Palmon: Palmon, Armor Evolve…! “The Purity Underneath the Sunlight, Cheergirlmon!”
(music fades into rally drums)
“Cheergirlmon”: Yaaaaaay! L-O-V-E! Lovely Lovely Mimi! L-O-V-E! Lovely Lovely Mimi!
Jou: Definitely like a real cheer girl, with all the…colorful and sparkly stuff…
Gomamon: Hey, we should try, too!
Jou: All right! Digimental up!
(“Break up!” plays)
Gomamon: Gomamon, Armor Evolve…! “The Honesty on the Shore, Urashimamon25!”
(music cuts off)
“Urashimamon”: …As a reward for saving Miyako, Hawkmon, and Jou, please take me to the Dragon Palace. (splash)
Sora: Our turn! Digimental up!
(“Break up!” plays)
Piyomon: Piyomon, Armor Evolve…! “The Repeating Love, Hillmynamon!”
(music suddenly halts)
“Hillmynamon”: (shrill voice) HEY! PIYOMON! DON’T YOU THINK YAMATO-KUN HAS BEEN A BIT COLD LATELY? HEY! PIYOMON! DON’T YOU THINK YAMATO-KUN HAS BEEN A BIT COLD LATELY?
Sora: Hey — no — stop — ah– sto– plea– hey– I said stop!!
Yamato: You’ve got it all wrong, Sora!…Okay. I’ll have to show you proof of my love. Digimental up!
(“Break up!” plays)
Gabumon: Gabumon, Armor Evolve…! “A Friendship From a Long Long Time Ago, Redfoxmon!”
(music fades out)
Yamato: (old man voice) “One day, I was hunting, and I mistakenly caught a red fox in my trap…and it said…”
“Redfoxmon”: “Kon, kon!26 Help me!”
Yamato: “Hmm, should I help it or not…”
“Redfoxmon”: “If you choose to help me, I shall give you my treasure. So, please…”
Hikari: …How exactly is that proof of his love?
Miyako: Something like “let’s do this together?”
Agumon: And last but not least, us!
(“Break up!” plays)
Taichi: Let’s go, Agumon! Digimental up!
Agumon: Agumon, Armor Evolve…!
Agumon: Agghghghgh…Mah toof gah mess ah…agu ughah mon mon…
Taichi: The heck, man? We just got to the good part!!
Piyomon: Ah, I’m coming, I’m coming!
Palmon: I’ll be Toranomon30!
(more train noises)
Palmon: Ah, I barely made it on in time!
Sakurada: I’m Sakurada. (deep voice)…Sakuradamon! Shall you dare to cross my sight?
Jun: I’m Jun Motomiya! There’s a place that has really great burgers! (deep voice) Thus I shall now become…Burgermon! (back to normal voice) Oh, Burgermon, not Burglarmon! (sound of jail door slamming) Hey! Someone get me out of here!31
Satoe: I’m Mimi’s mom, and sometimes I’m a bit of a Clingymom!32
Yoshiko: I’m Sora’s mother. Ah, well, I run a traditional Japanese culture school, I’m the Grandmastermom!
Yuuko: I’m Taichi’s mother, I’m just a normal Housemom!
Piyomon: Hey, Gabumon, is your fur real, or is it a com-mon fake? Oh no, I might be falling for Gabumon, a potential ro-mon-ce…Ah, who are you?! (deep voice) I’m Tor-mon-t! Listen to what you’re told! (water spraying noise)
Daisuke: Guys, I thought I was supposed to be the mo-i-n character of this story…
Yamato: Wanna try, dad?
Hiroaki: Well, it looks like everyone’s having so much fun, so…a mon-key-mon33!
Takeru: That…was kind of bad.
Hiroaki: Ah, sorry.
Taichi: Look, they’re not even Digimon and even they’re evolving!
Agumon: B-buh…Buh mah toof…Argahaahh…
The rail for the train leading to tomorrow is incomplete
I keep looking back, I keep hesitating
We run together hand in hand
What is it about it that makes it create such great power?
Always, always, whenever
Always, always, wherever
We can fly
Always, always, whenever
We’re all together with you
And surely, surely, nobody
is ever alone
- “Obligation chocolate” (giri choco) refers to (usually) storebought chocolate bought as a courtesy towards any male you’re acquainted with (“obligation”), rather than chocolate you buy out of actual romantic attraction.
- In contrast to obligation chocolate, “serious chocolate” (honmei choco) is higher-quality chocolate, usually expensive or homemade, intended for someone you’re really in love with.
- Sora’s “shut up!” to Piyomon is in actual English.
- In Japan, Valentine’s Day is exclusively girls giving chocolate to boys, and vice versa is saved one month later for White Day (March 14), during which boys “return the favor” by giving chocolate to girls. Mimi’s background in America where Valentine’s Day is a comparatively gender-neutral holiday is indeed quite alien to the others.
- “Mama, do you remember?” = A reference to the theme song of the 1977 film Proof of the Man. The lyrics are about the loss of an “old straw hat”, hence Mimi singing it after losing hers.
- “adoption Western medical techniques” = Refers to rangaku, or how Japan studied and adopted Western medical techniques even during the period of time it was closed off to foreigners, thanks to its contacts with Dutch traders.
- Tuna (specifically, ootoro or chuutoro fatty tuna) and sea urchin (uni) are generally the most expensive parts of a sushi platter (in general, actual sushi in Japan is considered to be quite pricey as it is).
- Saori Minami was a famous Showa-era idol (and absolutely way before Miyako’s time).
- The American Box Bug = A reference to this story.
- The narrator shares a voice actor (Hiroaki Hirata) with Hiroaki Ishida.
- Hiroaki asks Boltmon about his “motive” (douki), but gets irritated when he gets back a heartbeat noise (dokidoki).
- Anytime you see me write something Pukumon says in capitals, it’s because he said it in English.
- Ikkyu-san = Refers to another character voiced by Taichi’s voice actress, Toshiko Fujita.
- “Reusing the joke” = Refers to the fact that Taichi “evolved” into Ikkyu-san in the first Adventure mini drama (translation by onkei here), and PunkAgumon is naturally a reference to Adventure episode 27.
- It’s probably common knowledge already, but in normal dialogue Tentomon and Armadimon generally speak in (a very TV-stereotype version of) Kansai dialect and Nagoya dialect, respectively. In the latter’s case, this often manifests as tacking a “~dagya” or “~da ga ya” at the end of a lot of sentences (not very correct Nagoya dialect, as you can imagine). I generally omitted it unless it was conspicuous usage, and, in general, I made no actual attempt to mimic any real English dialect as an equivalent to those used in the story, as I felt that trying to make a parallel to any real-life one is misleading. The only thing I wanted out of it was that it’s “nonstandard language”.
- Tentomon speaking in Nagoya dialect is a reference to his voice actor, Takahiro Sakurai, who hails from Aichi (where Nagoya dialect is spoken).
- “If a bird doesn’t sing” = Refers to a famous poem well-known among Japanese schoolchildren describing the potential approaches taken by the three famous Sengoku warlords (Oda Nobunaga, Toyotomi Hideyoshi, Tokugawa Ieyasu) to a bird that won’t sing. The hypothetical situation has them, respectively, order to “kill it” (weeding out opposition), “make it sing” (coercion), and “wait for it to sing” (patience).
- Likewise, Patamon’s voice actress, Miwa Matsumoto, is originally from Fukuoka in Kyushu, where Chikuho dialect is spoken.
- More specifically, according to Koushirou, people from Kyushu say “sensei” like “shenshei“.
- And, of course, Takeru’s voice actor, Taisuke Yamamoto, is originally from Hiroshima.
- Miyako’s “battle suit”, the sudden deep voice she takes, and her following battle with Boltmon is a reference to her voice actress (Rio Natsuki)’s role as Akari Kanzaki in Battle Athletes.
- Linkmon is a walking reference to Cyborg 009 (the main character of which is named Joe).
- It’s a pun; a manbou is a sunfish, and he’s doing the mambo.
- More specifically, Sagittarimon does his shooting yabusame style.
- A reference to Urashima Taro, from a Japanese fairytale about a man who is taken under the sea into the Dragon Palace.
- “Kon kon” is the general Japanese onomatopoeia for a fox cry.
- “Ishikawa Gomamon” = A reference to famous folk hero and thief Ishikawa Goemon (basically the Japanese equivalent of Robin Hood).
- Tentomon declares himself to be “Tentorimon” (tentori = one of those nerd students you hate because they’re tryhard).
- Hanzomon = one of the Tokyo train lines.
- Toranomon = A business district.
- Jun’s deal is oiriginally a three-part pun: she starts by talking about tuna bowls (tekkadon), labels herself Tekkamon, then clarifies she’s not the Man in the Iron Mask (Tekkamen). And yes, just as with Burgermon, there is in fact a Tekkamon in the franchise, so it all checks out.
- Satoe, Yoshiko, Yuuko, and eventually some of the later jokes make puns by the fact “-mon” is an emphasis particle in Japanese, so they end their sentences in it for their “Digimon names”.
- Hiroaki’s attempt at a “pun” is just “nanmon kimon” (a hard question, a difficult question).